21 Jun 2018
For the rest of term, students will be considering emotions in BounceBack lessons – theirs and other people's.
We all experience a range of emotions every day. Our feelings are necessary for us to survive and co-exist harmoniously with others. Without pleasant feelings (e.g. feeling pleased, proud, excited, loving) we would not learn what makes us happy and what we want to strive for. Experiencing a lot of pleasant feelings can help children become more resilient and bounce back more quickly from a difficulty or setback.
However, unpleasant feelings are also important too. Without unpleasant feelings as warnings (e.g. fear, worry and anger), we would be less able to protect ourselves from possible danger or to stand up for ourselves. Some unpleasant feelings (e.g. embarrassment, disappointment and sadness) also motivate us to think deeply about some of the difficult and challenging situations we sometimes have to cope with (e.g. failing, loss and rejections). This type of reflection helps us to learn from our experiences and become more able to make good decisions and problem solve.
Our unpleasant emotions can sometimes ‘hijack us' and we react to them by behaving in ways that alienate others or work against us. Learning how to express their emotions in a positive and assertive way helps children to feel more in control when things are difficult for them.
Key messages to communicate to your child about their feelings.
Talking to someone else can help.
When you are feeling sad or disappointed it can be helpful to talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling. They can help you to check whether or not you are seeing things clearly and help you to solve problems.
Correctly naming your feeling can help you to manage it better.
Being able to name your feeling helps you to feel more in control. For example, if you know that you are feeling angry, then you also realise that you need to calm yourself down and speak up for yourself in a calm but strong way. If you can correctly name what you are feeling as ‘disappointment' rather than ‘anger', then you realise that it is not helpful to feel so upset and it's easier to calm down.
KidsMatters Team